Erase
by VampireQueenAkasha
Summary: Post AoE. She knew he would eventually seek an end to the pain; she tried to be supportive of it, though it only hurt more seeing the end result of his choice. - Takes place after October. - Red Alert X Shockwave


**Erase**

**Author's Note**: This was a little something I had intended to put in "October", but it had slipped my mind. Instead, it's just a little one-shot sequel to it exploring the past of the children and how Jhiaxus eventually cannot cope with his sister's death.

_"Emotionless people are not emotionless from the beginning they just disappointed and hurt very strongly by who they love."_

- Unknown Quote

_"Those we love and lose are always connected by heartstrings into infinity."_

- Terri Guillemets

**By: VampireQueenAkasha**

~O~

"I won't blame you for this."

Jhiaxus faced his mother early that morning, and though he saw the smile, he could still feel that wound from Solus' death stabbing through his spark from his link to her.

"I want you to know that this choice does not reflect you negatively in any way." he told her. "I do it because I have to."

Red Alert nodded. "I know, sweetspark."

Shockwave was standing close by, waiting.

"Whatever you want, son," Red Alert told him, "Whatever you want to be, I will always love you."

She placed her arms around him, though he stood a little taller than her. So he had to lean down a bit to place his arms around her as well.

"It will be a quick process," Shockwave said, "He will heal from it in time."

Red Alert nodded. She seemed hesitant to let her son go, but knew she had to. She had to support this choice, no matter what.

"I'll be back, mother." Jhiaxus promised her.

_You will have changed..._

As the two left the room, Shockwave glanced down at his son, silent. Jhiaxus seemed determined to go through with this and it impressed him just how far he was willing to go to forget the pain of his sister's death.

They entered his laboratory and Shockwave indicated that Jhiaxus lay on the table. While his son did that, he turned and readied several tools he would need.

"You had asked me once when you were young... 'Why did you choose mother'." Shockwave said, "I never answered you. Not directly, at least."

Jhiaxus sighed, closing his optics. "I assumed your reasons were your own."

Shockwave turned and held out a sharp tool. It gleamed in the light of the lab. "You were born a child of two worlds," he said. "I feel gratitude for this. It helped me understand my yearning for your mother even more. As our two sparks came together better than I had thought."

Jhiaxus glanced upwards. "You were an assassin. You told me you've killed Autobots like her."

"That I have. But I have never met one who could heal in a unique way as she did." Shockwave replied. "To be honest, I did not think I needed such healing until she came into my life."

"Are you trying to persuade me to change my mind?"

"No. I am simply telling you this while you can still feel enough to find joy."

Jhiaxus smiled. "Thank you."

And with that, Shockwave placed a tube at the back of his neck, the charge sending Jhiaxus into an induced stasis. Before he did, he heard his father's final words.

"I bonded to her because I found myself capable of love..."

"...in ways I didn't believe I could..."

"...she...showed me...love..."

O

Induced stasis couldn't bring about dreams.

But he did.

_Jhiaxus was young, crawling across the floor and up the expanse of his father's back. Still a youngling, he was curious by his father's size in contrast to his mother._

_"He's quite a curious one..." Shockwave murmured._

_Red Alert laughed. "He's got his father's strength."_

_"And his mother's humor."_

_Jhiaxus let out a hiccup and began to chew on his father's ear finials. Red Alert laughed gently and pulled him from her mate. _

_"Now now, those aren't for eating, my love." she said. She smiled slyly up at her mate. "They're mother's playthings."_

_Shockwave's optic narrowed. "Do you intend to teach him your lecherous ways?"_

_"No. Perhaps he can learn that well enough from his father."_

_Shockwave rumbled and rolled his shoulders. "Regardless, he will learn much. From both of us."_

_[STATIC]_

_Red Alert was working on a document while Jhiaxus snuck up behind her. He grinned wickedly, raised his clawed fingers and opened his mouth..._

_"Don't even think about it." Red Alert said, nonchalantly._

_Jhiaxus blinked and let out a sound through his intakes. "I was as quiet as a mouse!" he said, moving to her side. "How did you know it was me?"_

_"I'm your mother. I know everything," Red Alert quipped. "Now where is your sister?"_

_Jhiaxus took a bite from an Energon cube tray sitting next to his mother. He grinned teasingly. "I thought you knew everything."_

_Suddenly, Solus lunged out of nowhere and tackled into him. Red Alert watched in disbelief as they rolled around, struggling for dominance. _

_"All right, break it up, you two!" she yelled, clapping her hands together. "Go outside and practice before you run my Energon levels up the wall!"_

_Solus and Jhiaxus stood up and she quickly tried to sneak an Energon cube, but her mother slapped her hand. "Only one. I don't need you running around like a maniac on the rooftops again calling for the starts to shower love down onto you.."_

_"Oh Primus, that was ONE TIME!" Solus yelled._

_"And it took your father two hours to get you down."_

_Jhiaxus grinned at his sister. "Someone's a light weight!" he teased._

_Solus scowled and chased him down the hallways._

_[STATIC]_

_"Whatever you choose to be..." Red Alert told her children one evening. "That is who you are. No one else can decide that for you."_

_Solus and Jhiaxus were sitting cross-legged on the floor, listening to their mother's teachings._

_"True power is knowing when to use it and when to walk away." she continued. "Should you ever find yourself as the one who grants mercy or death, know when to make the right choice. You will eventually be called to do both. That is the harshness of reality we must all face."_

_Solus raised her hand._

_"Yes?"_

_"What if you have to choose both at once?" she asked._

_Red Alert smiled sadly. "You will. I have done this."_

_"Do you feel bad for it?"_

_"...all the time."_

O

Red Alert stood up when Shockwave entered the room.

"Well?" she asked, worried. "Is he all right?"

Shockwave nodded, wiping his hands on a rag. "Jhiaxus is waking now. I'm told that he wants to see you."

Red Alert quickly made her way to the lab and found Jhiaxus sitting up, holding his helm. She walked over to him and couldn't help but embrace him, even though he was still in recovery.

Jhiaxus' optics were empty of emotion, but he still put his arms around her.

"Mother..." he said, his vocals even and without the slightest change in tone.

Red Alert looked at him, placing a hand against his cheek. She saw no remnants of life in that gaze. He looked like a sparkless shell as far as she was concerned. Her son had his emotions wiped and seeing the end result... Seeing how he looked now as opposed to what he used to be...actually hurt.

"Do you feel the pain anymore?" she asked.

Jhiaxus glanced up at her. "I don't feel anything anymore." He watched her features twist a little. "But don't be sad, mother. This is better. I was not strong enough with emotional responses. This way, I can work without letting them impede my manner of thinking."

Red Alert's features crumbled. Seeing her son like this...

"I wanted to make sure you were okay with this," Jhiaxus calmly continued.

"I am. It's what you wanted..."

Jhiaxus stared at her for the longest time. He turned to his father. "I am grateful you still possessed the knowledge of this sort of procedure." he said, "Now, there is nothing to impede me. I can resume my training without complications. Thank you."

He stood up, placed a hand on his mother's shoulder. "And mother..."

"Yes?"

"Thank you for understanding."

He walked away.

O

The ship was so quiet.

"I don't understand..."

Red Alert stood alone on the surface of the moon, staring down at her hands.

"I did all of this." she whispered. "I brought peace to him. And now you take it all away from me? For what? What could I have done to deserve it?"

Of course, Primus did not answer.

Jhiaxus watched her from afar with his father.

"Mother is upset." he said, quietly. "My decision must have caused this."

Shockwave looked down at him. "Your mother just lost her daughter." he replied. "She feels pain for this. I know because I experience it as well."

"The humans were the cause."

"Yes."

Jhiaxus considered this. "Would her pain end if they did?"

"Doubtful. A mother's pain is not something so easily healed." Shockwave answered. "You cannot erase everything, even with science."

Jhiaxus murmured thoughtfully.

"Maybe in time, you could." he replied.

Shockwave was silent.

"Maybe..."


End file.
